Tyler Feder had just white-knuckled her way through her first year of college when her super-cool mom was diagnosed with late-stage cancer. Now, with a decade of grief and nervous laughter under her belt, Feder shares the story of that gut-wrenching, heart-pounding, extremely awkward time in her life—from her mom’s first oncology appointment to her funeral through the beginning of facing reality as a motherless daughter. She shares the sting of loss that never goes away, the uncomfortable post-death firsts, and the deep-down, hard-to-talk-about feelings of the grieving process.